I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
