Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
