Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
