I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dignity is for republicans.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
