Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
