I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
