if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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