for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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