I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize