I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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