I'm pants shitting drunk right now
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
