We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize