I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
