You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
