Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
