halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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