My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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