the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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