He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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