we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my being single is dangerous.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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