Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
