you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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