ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
