so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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