Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
