This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
