For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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