where am i from again
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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