ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
