Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
