So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Boobs are out for the taking
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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