we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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