I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
A bitchslap is in order.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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