hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I looked at my own cervix.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
