New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
