First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I had to cum in my sink.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
