we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
