I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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