Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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