i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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