It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
