The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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