last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
