i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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