After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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