he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Be still, my beating vagina.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
