i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
