so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
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My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
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Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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