My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
