Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
