Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
