Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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