Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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