I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
