my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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