you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
