Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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