I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
