She's JV to your varsity
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
